Harry | Caregiver
Caregiver since 2009
Debby and I have been together for quite a while—we were high-school sweethearts—so when she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, I made it my mission to understand it. In the beginning, I found it incredibly difficult to watch her come to terms with her initial prognosis. Around that time, it seemed like she started giving up; at one point, she started to pick out my next wife, and that devastated me.
She has now come to terms with her diagnosis, and together we have taken on the challenge of navigating the multiple myeloma course.
I like to think of myself as her caddie. Instead of golf clubs, I carry her belongings, samples, and notes to different doctors. I’m not coaching her, but like a caddie, I’m there to keep Debby’s head focused. I take notes, observe, and give guidance when asked. I’ve also taken university courses in nursing and clinical trials because I want to know about and need to understand Debby’s disease to the fullest.
Looking back on the years, I have 2 pieces of advice for other caregivers, or “cancer caddies”:
- Educate yourself in a broader way—you have to learn the course, and the course will change, and sometimes you won’t play the same course every week—and if you have questions, ask your healthcare professional.
- Stay by your loved one’s side—especially when going to the doctor—and offer to take notes!
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